Alone/ly?

Are we alone when we feel lonely? Are we truly lonely anytime we're alone? Do aloneness and loneliness go hand-in-hand??

Truth be told, as an introverted individual, these two concepts hold slightly different meanings for me. Like many who prefer the peace of silence and solitude over busy socialization, being alone doesn't always bear a negative connotation. Aloneness, in my eyes, usually provides contentment and ease of mind with not having to interact awkwardly with others. That doesn't mean I and introverts like me don't ever feel alone or get lonely... It just means that contrary to popular belief, just because one is by themself, doesn't guarantee that they're feeling lonely or alone. Many times, people like this can be surrounded by other humans and manage to feel utterly outcasted and completely isolated.

By another token, there are those people who thrive on the company of others, and for them, any thought of being secluded often leaves them feeling down. Not all the time, but more often than not. We can usually refer to those people as extroverts or folks who fall somewhere in the middle.

Both types of people are ok! They're not abnormal or strange based solely on their opinion of loneliness and being alone. At some point or another, we all feel it... We all feel the pang of feeling like we could use the presence of a kind and friendly face.

But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.

Luke 5:16 NIV

Lately, a lot of my Bible readings and study tools have been pointing toward the direction of relationships and their importance. 🤔 I, of course, being someone who's reached contentment in not having many friends or social circles, find this quite fascinating. I have to wonder if God is perhaps communicating with me that "Hey... relationships with people aren't something to write off..." 

Now I'm not saying to you that I am against human interaction and forming relationships with people. I suppose I just came to the conclusion long ago that if people aren't going to value me, then why bother valuing people??

I realize to some that might sound like a sad story, but the truth is, when God has called you and set you apart from "the norm", it is easy to find yourself metaphorically floating on an island by yourself. "Normal people" may not understand why you don't do the same things they do or act the same way they do... just look at Moses and Ezekiel and Jeremiah! When God has set you aside and you accept that, it's easier to accept that a flock of friends isn't likely going to be a part of the picture.

Obviously, I can only speak for myself and perhaps to others who find this relatable 🤷🏾‍♀️ ... but when you are serving God fervently and faithfully, there will be many times (whether you like people, have friends, or don't) when you find yourself on the outside. You may question why you don't have anyone you can turn to for help or encouragement. As Dr. Charles Stanley put it in one of his messages, even Jesus asked for the company and support of his disciples the night of his arrest. So it's definitely ok to feel this way.

While I never attest to have all the answers, I can say confidently that there is one spot of light to this somewhat gloomy subject. No matter what side of the socially ept fence you fall on, there is always God's gift to us... The Great Comforter. Yes, Jesus when He left his disciples, gave them the promise of the Holy Spirit! He explained to them that this gift would be able to comfort them in their times of need, to give them peace and understanding when they felt low, and to be that friend when they faced that inevitable feeling of being lonely or alone. With that gift, friends, we are never truly alone! God is with us - Immanuel!

So as difficult as it is and as hard as it can often be, when you find yourself in that place of solitude where it just doesn't feel good, turn to the gift that Jesus personally left for us. Turn to the comfort of the Holy Spirit for He will never leave us or foresake us. 

If God has plans to place someone or multiple people in your life, you better believe that it's going to happen exactly when it's supposed to. If the introduction of a new person or new people does come to pass during your Earthly journey, know that God is superior in all things and His wisdom is infinite. So whether He places a person for a day, for lifetime, or perhaps even just for a season, know that it is His ultimate plan at work in your life. And if you're someone desperately longing for that human connection, know that His timing is perfect as well. Even if it's been decades of waiting and walking by yourself, God's timing will not let you down!

So yes, relationships are important. When we trust God to do what only God can, we will find such peace and acceptance for where He is taking us. After all, the most important relationship we can ever have is with God the Father 🙏🏽 When we rest in His perfect will, any other relationship will a blessing just as He's intended it to be. From marriage to friends to family... It will all be what He has predestined it to be.

If you do feel at the moment quite alone or lonely and even in seeking God's peace still find yourself feeling a bit stressed even in the light of His many blessings, reach out to me, and perhaps we can share a friendly word! 😊 Until then...

Let's pray about it...

B.B.S.S.